April is Autism Awareness Month – and amidst the messages about celebration, inspiration, buildings that light up their blue lights, we want to share some helpful and practical tips. While these messages are important and resonate, we want to take Autism Awareness a step further and teach the public how to meaningfully interact with families who have a loved one with autism.
There are many people who want to show support, care, and respect to autistic individuals—children and adults alike—without causing harm, discomfort, or unnecessary judgment. Here are ways you can support individuals and their parents who are doing their best, sometimes under incredible stress and self-doubt.
Readers, please share this article – whether sending it to friends, family, or posting it on social media – this will help us increase the public’s skillset when it comes to interacting with our families.
1. Don’t Assume Something Needs to Be Fixed
If an autistic person is flapping, rocking, pacing, humming, avoiding eye contact, using headphones, or stimming in any visible way, that doesn’t mean something is wrong.
Don’t:
- Suggest calming down
- Point it out to others
- Redirect them unless you’ve been asked
- STARE
Many autistic people regulate their nervous systems differently and these activities help them. They may look unusual, but staring at the individual or their family is rude.
2. Speak to Autistic People, Not About Them
If an autistic person is present, speak to them directly – don’t talk over them, speak around them, or discuss them as if they are not there.
Even if:
- Their speech is limited
- Their communication is unconventional
- They don’t respond right away or at all
Assume competence first. Everyone deserves that baseline respect.
3. Respect Boundaries Without Demanding Explanations
If you’re told:
- “Please don’t touch them.”
- “They don’t do hugs.”
- “This environment is overwhelming.”
Take it seriously. You don’t have to fully understand autistic sensory needs or boundaries, but you should respect them. You are not owed an explanation.
4. Don’t Take Neutral Behavior Personally
Autistic people may:
- Not greet you
- Walk away mid-interaction
- Decline activities
- Respond in unexpected ways
This is not a personal rejection or a moral statement. Don’t interpret their behavior as rudeness.
5. Your Curiosity Can Be Kind—If It’s Careful
Your questions and comments that focus on support are welcome:
- “Is there anything that helps?”
- “How can I make this space more comfortable?”
- “What should I know to be respectful?”
- “You are doing a great job.”
Questions and comments that frame autism or behaviors as a problem to solve are not welcome:
- “What caused it?”
- “Have you tried ________________________?”
- “Isn’t everyone a little autistic?”
- “He/she looks normal!”
- “You should make him look you in the eye”
6. Meltdowns Are Not Misbehavior
When an autistic person is overwhelmed, what you’re witnessing is not a tantrum or a failure of parenting or self-control.
If you see a meltdown, what helps most is:
- Space
- Quiet
- Reduced attention
- Less judgment, not more advice
Trust autistic people and their caregivers to know what they need at that moment.
7. Awareness Lives in Everyday Choices
Autism awareness needs to be practical.
- Be patient instead of policing behavior
- Accept accommodations that others need without resentment or doubt
- Don’t expect autistic people to adapt to typical social norms to put you or others at ease
- Expand your idea of what “appropriate” looks like
One Last Thing
At the heart of all of this is something simple: autistic people are people first. They deserve the same kindness, patience, and respect we all hope to receive when moving through the world. Parents and caregivers are doing their best.
A little flexibility, curiosity, and grace go a long way.
If Autism Awareness Month is going to mean something important, I hope it means choosing compassion, understanding, and respect for the differences in others. Let’s help teach others how to interact best with our loved ones and autistic individuals at large. And, readers, thank you for wanting to learn how to help us in the most productive and caring ways!
—K.C.